Getting What You Want: The Real Secret

How often do you get what you want?

Do you know people who seem to get their way most of the time? How do they do it?

What’s the secret to getting more of what you want?

The answer may be simpler than you think. But before I tell you what it is, let me set the scene….



I take my notes from Nature and keenly watch for the underlying Principles of Nature that govern how things work. One such Principle that has had a huge impact on me is the fact that things can only ever come into being when the conditions are right. This means that before you set out to get what you want, it’s important to ensure the right conditions are in place first. Much like planting a garden, you don’t just start planting seeds and expect that they’ll grow, you must till the soil first and prepare it to support the growth of your seeds.



Think about a time when you really really wanted something badly and you got it.

Now think of another time when this happened…. (really DO this. Don’t cheat yourself.)

What do those two occasions have in common?

If you can recall even more similar occasions, you will notice a pattern emerge.

When you have a really strong desire for something, it’s because you believe that having it will improve your life in every way.

Stronger Belief (in the benefit of having what you want) = Stronger Desire (for what you want).

Your Desire and Belief together create the right conditions for what happens next:

You DECIDE to have it.

(You don’t decide to get it – you decide to have it. Can you feel the difference?)

The secret to actually getting what you want is making the DECISION to have it.

It seems simple doesn’t it?

It is simple when the conditions are in place. That’s the caveat: the right conditions have to be in place first.

Desire and Belief together are the conditions that allow you to actually make a real decision.



The word “decide” comes from the Latin decidre (determine) which comes from de- (‘off’) and caedre (‘cut ’). Now if we look at the origin of the word “determine”, it comes form the Latin determinare (‘limit, fix’) which comes from de(‘completely’) and terminare (‘terminate’).

You see, when you make a REAL Decision, you cut yourself off from and terminate every other possibility but the one you envision – i.e. having what you want. In effect, you are setting the intention to make it so. Your mind is so focused that no other possibility exists. When this happens, you are literally tuning your brain to bring about the fulfillment of your desire. Here’s how…



Your brain has a component called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). Among its many duties, your RAS is the filter that determines what you consciously notice at any given moment. It filters out all other information except that which is relevant to you in that moment.

Have you ever bought a new car and suddenly noticed it everywhere? It’s like everyone suddenly decided to get the same car as you. Or perhaps you have been to a party where there are at least 100 different conversations going on at the same time. You happen to be engaged in one of these conversations and find it very interesting so it has your complete attention… at least until someone else mentions your name in another nearby conversation. Suddenly, you’re not paying as much attention to your conversation and paying a little more to the other one to find out what’s being said about you. Hmmmm. Out of the thousands of words flying around the room, how did you manage to pick out just your name – especially since you were so seemingly focused upon the topic of your conversation?

This is your RAS in action.

It really is quite an amazing piece of biological hardware. In order for you to have noticed your name being spoken in another conversation, your RAS had to be monitoring ALL the conversations within earshot and constantly scanning for information that was deemed important enough to make you directly aware of. In this case, it was your name.

So what is it that programs your Reticular Activating System to notice what it does?

INTENTION is what programs your RAS.

With the car example, the moment you decided to have the new car, your intention to have it was activated. This intention immediately ‘tuned’ your RAS to notice your model of vehicle everywhere because it was now a new part of your identity.

In the case of the party, the ability to notice your name in a busy room is the protective intention of your inner Survival Instinct. If you find that someone is speaking well of you, there’s no threat and you can return your full attention back to the conversation you’re having. If someone is speaking badly of you, you might feel either the need to go and defend yourself or possibly sneak out of the party undetected (fight or flight).



When you make a real decision, you set the conditions in place for only ONE possibility to come into being. This opens the channel for INTENTION to flow through.

INTENTION is the energy of your commitment to your decision.

You experience this energy as the feeling of determination behind your actions.



It easy to see here that a decision without intention is not a real decision at all.

If you say, “I’ve decided to quit smoking” and yet you lack the feeling of determination or the focus upon the sole idea that smoking is no longer an option, then a genuine intention to quit smoking is not really there.

You haven’t cut yourself off from any other possibility and so you haven’t made a real decision in the truest meaning of the word.

If you think of your Attention as light, when you have a number of options in front of you, your light is spread out in many directions. When you make a real decision, all pathways but one have been eliminated and now your light is focused like a laser beam. All your energy and inner resources are now moving in one direction. This focused motion is what we are referring to when we use the word “INTENTION”.

Your brain and nervous system are in place to organize all aspects of your being into ONE coherent unit. When you make a real decision and all your energy is moving in ONE direction, your inner system seeks to find balance with this focused energy and this is what programs your RAS.

As a result, you begin consciously noticing opportunities that align with your decision-intention and you naturally take action on them because these actions are the natural expression of your Intention.

INTENTION is your success in motion. Once in motion, it’s only a matter of time. Stay the course.



STEP 1 – KNOW what you want and FEEL your desire for it.

STEP 2 – BELIEVE that your life will be better in every way when your desire is fulfilled. (BELIEVE that having what you want will not weaken any of your relationships, but rather, will strengthen them.) When this belief is truly in place, your desire is strong. The stronger your belief, the stronger your desire.

(Steps 1 & 2 create the conditions necessary for Step 3)

 STEP 3 – DECIDE to have what you want. Cut yourself off from any other possibility. All you can imagine is having this thing you want.

 STEP 4 – INTEND to have it. When you truly decide to have something, the intention to acquire it comes naturally. You will experience this as a strong feeling of determination and a focused mind upon only ONE ideahaving your desire.

 STEP 5 – TAKE ACTION. Taking action emerges naturally when the Intention is in place. The action you take is the natural expression of your Intention. It happens automatically.



Notice that steps 1 and 2 work together to create a STRONG FEELING OF DESIRE. This is your first goal.

Getting what you want begins with your desire.

Create a burning desire for the thing you want and you are well on your way to getting it.

You can grow your desire for what you want by focusing on all the ways your life and relationships will be better for having it.

Only when you feel a strong desire for something will you actually make a real DECISION to have it.

This DECISION is like the opening of a gate that releases your INTENTION.

You recognize your INTENTION as the feeling of Determination and the experience of being mentally focused upon only ONE thing the image of already having what you want.

YOUR ACTION is simply your Intention in motion. You won’t be able to stop yourself because you’ll be inspired to act upon the fulfillment of your desire.

When you truly DECIDE to have something, getting it is merely a formality.

Now go for it!

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